A Guide to Eating The Box the RIGHT Way

Throughout my trysts I notice one thing. Men as a whole TRULY have no clue how to eat a box. There are definitely exceptions to this as I have had some that were so wonderfully excellent that my box jumps for joy just thinking about it. There are some dudes who have an absolute addiction to it and that’s cool too, just don’t try to skimp out on the dick because then we have problems. There are also dudes that seemingly don’t care to do it all. *insert horrific face here* I’m sure they had a bad experience with one *read – a nasty box*

*cringe*

There are dudes who do it just because they know you want it but don’t do it with any kind of personality. This could be because of reactions that they may have gotten in the past…women being to scared to tell them that they are doing it wrong and moan just because…causing the guy to think he’s doing an exceptional job – when In FACT, she’s just fueling this mortifying method and the next chick is going to have to suffer because she couldn’t man up and tell him – or ASSIST him in doing it the right way.

A dude that KNOWS he knows what he's doing is a turn on for me. Let me paint a picture for you.

He backed me into his bedroom, still lip locked, kissing me with such euphoric fervor that my knees began to tremble and a shiver of excitement ran down my spine. His hands firmly holding the small of my back as we padded to the California king-sized bed that was adorned with a multitude of pillows that accented the warm tones of the room. As the back of my calves came up against the side of the bed, he tightened his grip on me so I wouldn’t lose my balance. With our tongues still exploring each others mouths in delight he brought his hands to the back of my high-waisted skirt and unzipped it, gently tugging the skirt over my curvy hips. As the skirt gave way and dropped to the floor, he wrestled his mouth away from mine, his hands sliding down my thighs until he fell to his knees onto the carpet coming face to face with my freshly shaped airport landing strip. Feeling his breath on my box caused my knees to shake uncontrollably. He took notice and brought his hands to the back of my knees holding them until they relaxed. As I looked down at him, he looked up and winked at me before burying his nose into my clit and moaning at the greeting of my shea butter scent. He tried to say something but his voice cracked with desire the moment he opened his mouth. Placing both of my hands around the back of his head I pulled his face into me. His thick tongue met my clit with patience as he slowly flicked it at he tip of it, baiting me…teasing me. Moans escaped my throat despite my trying to quiet them. His tongue gyrated against the bottom of my clit and the top of vulva causing my entire body to tremble as I tried to push his head away. He tightened is grip around my legs pushing his tongue down and up into me. His lips closed around the top of my clit and stood still for a few moments. My chest was heaving with desire and my eyes were burning with tears from him feeling so good. He began to pulse his tongue between my walls slowly…silently. His tongue felt like it was riding a wave within my walls…back and forth, up and down…I squeezed my walls tighter around his tongue and he moaned. Pressing the ball of my foot against the crotch of his pants that were getting tighter every second – he grabbed the back of my ass pulling me further into his face if that was even possible. He slid his tongue out of my pussy tracing the outer lips around and around as my eyes rolled closed. He pressed his tongue against one side and pulsed his tongue against the lip seemingly trying to become one with it. I tried to call his name but was so stuck in desire I only spoke in tongues. He looked up into my eyes and moaned “Mmmhmm.” He went over to the other lip and did the same, all the while watching my face and body responding to his touch. He brought his tongue back to my center and rammed his tongue into me…this time not pulsing, but stroking. In and out…in and out. On the stroke out, he slurped my love out. The suckling sounds of him having this extraordinary conversation with my box caused my body to rock as I began to cum all over his mouth. He said nothing as he moaned and continued to suck it out. He stopped for a moment and pulled back and looked at me. His goatee was shiny with my juices and I longed to taste myself on his mouth. I reached down to pull his face up but he pulled away.

“No babe, not yet….”

My pussy was engorged and felt swollen and I desperately wanted cock. He stood up and unbuttoned my silk blouse until it fell to the floor reaching around to my back to unfasten my bra. As my breasts jumped free he laid me onto the bed bringing his mouth down over my left breast…sucking softly, running his teeth gently over the tip of my nipple. I gasped at the feeling of his teeth grazing my skin paired with the warmth of his mouth on me. I reached out to him, but he slid out of my grasp back down to nirvana. Blowing on my clit, he used his right index finger and thumb to open me up. He blew softly into the opening as his tongue delved into the folds of me. Sliding his tongue back out he kissed me there. Soft, full, wet kisses that caused my hips to raise, and the piercing screams to rip from my throat as I came once more. He pulled back to watch my juices ooze down my pussy and brought his mouth over them before they hit the bed. Call him Mr. Clean Up if you will.

“Do you like it babe?”

I couldn’t speak but I nodded as I looked down at him through hazy eyes. He finally brought his face to mine as I grabbed the back of his head pulling his mouth to me so I could clean myself off of his face. The combination of me on him tasted delicious. I reached down to unbutton his pants and he assisted me in taking them off, his dick springing upward as if it were freed from its cage. As I continued to suck myself off of his face he positioned himself at my wet opening and thrust inside with such fury that my breath caught in my throat.



Ladies now let me ask you this…isn’t this how you would LOVE to be eaten? Isn’t this the ONLY way to be eaten? (I'm not even including the tossing of your salad right now.) Not having your clit flicked at like a lizard is down there right? Not having a man licking ONLY the clit and never once ATTEMPTING to take his tongue for a stroll into the walls? I understand and hear your pain ladies. It’s time to speak up and train these dudes to get the job done right.

Fellas, if you are open to be coached and your ego won’t get in the way, let us HELP you help US. Y’all claim to be on a mission to satisfy us in bed right? (Well some of y’all anyway)

Talk to me. What say you?



© 2010 Farrah Barnes

Mr. WilderBeast / Done Off With the Youngin's

He was a cute, young thang. Literally. In the back of my mind I thought that I was truly getting tired of these youngin’s but couldn’t stop attracting them to save my life. I made him take me to see Sex & The City 2. The movie was cool, not better than part 1 in my opinion. But it wasn’t bad.

After the movie we had a lot of jokes and fooled around with each other. He wanted to go to a hotel. I wanted to fuck in the car. Who do you think won that argument? In all honesty, I just wanted to fuck. I didn’t even want to make out. TOTALLY not me, because as you all know…I LOVE to kiss. Granted, he did have a juicy set of lips so perhaps…

We ended up parking underneath a tree around my way on a fairly deserted strip. It was around 1:30am so I didn’t anticipate any problems.

I can’t quite remember how he got from the drivers’ seat into the passenger seat and how I ended up on top of him IN that seat but there we both were. I leaned in for the kiss remembering that I felt mighty awkward but I still went for it. (This should have been my sign to go home) His lips felt like pillows. Gratifying, fluffy, and comfortable. He pecked my lips with his and since I didn’t feel an immediate body response to his lips I went in for the lower lip only thinking about myself at this point. His bottom lip was juicy enough to fill my mouth so I sucked on it gently, allowing my tongue to graze the outer rim. Gently nibbling my way side to side on his lip I felt my pussy began to throb. If he couldn’t do it for me I certainly knew how to do it for myself. He was trying to kiss me back and I wasn’t feeling it so I went in to suck on his tongue. And suck I did. I allowed my entire body to move up and down with the movements of my mouth around his tongue. I began to moan in his mouth and my pussy started to leak. I wanted the dick.

STAT.

Through my horny haze I muttered an indescribable “Get in the back.” It seemed as if my legs had gotten longer or the car had shrunk as I had the most difficult time getting back there but had finally managed to.

One of the things I hated about his car was that his windows weren’t tinted. I can’t remember the last time I’d been in a car without tints but the fact that they were non-existent blew mine from day one. I feel as if they provide at least a bit of privacy, but I digress.

I had managed to crawl out of my thong, tossing them somewhere in the car along with my top and bra while he came out of his t-shirt. I laid back against the seat, fingering my bar accessory, panting, waiting for him to do something…ANYTHING.

He pulled his pants down to knee level and exposed the Jolly Rancher. From the dim, lighting he didn’t look too bad but I was more concerned about getting it IN me than anything else. He’d extracted a condom from the dash, put it on and FINALLY got situated. I still fingered my bar as he began to enter, as he continued as he slid in. He put an arm under and around my waist pulling my hips all the way up causing him to fill my pussy up. I could not deny that he felt good. He wasn't the longest, but he was medium fat if you know what I mean. Wrapping my arms around his neck I started to completely zone out…

That is, until I heard something.

I snapped out of my zone to pay attention. There was some kind of growling going on. I started to wonder if a loose dog was staring into the window thinking I was being hurt or something. My ears perked up as I continued to listen while he stroked inside of me with conviction.

I heard the growling again…and this time…it was directly into my left ear.

*blinkblink*

WTF?!

This dude was picking up speed and growling like a fucking jungle wolf.

“Grrrr GRRRRRR GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.”

I started getting a growl for each stroke. I was instantly turned off. Did he not hear himself? Did he even know he was doing it? Fuck this. I slid out of his grasp and pushed him down on the seat so I can hop on. I figured that: 1 – I was still going to get my nut off and 2 – if I was doing the work maybe he’d stop with the wilderbeast soundtrack.

As I situated myself on top of him facing the back window I saw a car ride by and slow up to make a u-turn. As the car came up on our side, I realized it was a patrol car. Fucking cops. Shit. I hopped off and laid low in the seat shrieking “The cops are here!” while trying to find my clothes. Why I would take off my top AND bra in the back seat of a car was BEYOND me. As he frantically tried to pull his jeans up and find his t-shirt, I heard the car pull up alongside us. Muttering obscenities to myself, I wondered why I just didn’t go to a hotel. I was freaking out because I had yet to find my clothes and I was laying there naked with police officers talking to him through the back window that was half way open –

THAT HAD NO TINTS.

“You have GOT to be kidding me right now!” is what came from the patrol car.

"Umm, No sir, I’m not" he'd said as he struggled to put his tee on.

“Get your clothes on and get out of the car with your ID…AND HURRY UP!!!”

Meanwhile, I had managed to find my top and was completely baffled as to why it was not agreeing with me by going over my head nice and smoothly. It ended up being put on backwards and my hair was a mess.

“Miss, I’m gonna need you to get out of the car with your ID as well.”

“Not a problem, I’m coming out now.”

I reached into the front seat to get my ID out of my wallet and smoothed my hair down while getting out of the car. I know I looked a hot-assed mess. I walked around the car muttering “fuck my life.”

The patrol car had that bright white light on and I felt like I was in the scene at the end of Set it Off when Frankie gets caught.

The cop looked at his ID and said “How old are you twenty-two? Twenty-three?”

He opened his mouth to say the latter but he cut him off and yelled “But you still old enough to know better!!! There are plenty of hotels around here!” He then went off into this tirade about there are crazy people that could’ve just walked up to the car and tried to hurt us yadda yadda yadda. Meanwhile, youngin’ is in the background shouting at me that he TOLD me we should’ve went to a hotel.

“Can I see your ID Miss?”

This is where the jokes keep going. I already KNEW what he was going to say.

I handed it to him through the passenger side window over his partner, a woman – who was disdainfully shaking her head at me. He looked at my ID and gasped.

*insert The Joker's voice here* And HEEEREEE WE GO.

"You are thirty-one?! YOU should know better!!!"

He shook his head at me. I struggled to keep the grin off of my face. I was so embarrassed that I didn’t know what else to do BUT grin. Cop1 looked at me and shook his head. After a few moments he'd said:

“Do better.”

He handed me my ID, rolled up the window and drove off.

I was grateful I wasn’t given a summons for the fact that I’d gotten caught getting it on in the backseat of a car. However, the statement “do better” kind of brought me down. It was a strong statement that I’m sure meant stop raping these young ass dudes and find a hotel in the future. I began to zone out as I walked back around the side of the car scowling as I looked at the clear windows. I heard him briefly in the background laughing uncontrollably as we got in the car and headed to drop me home.

I thought to myself that I was finally done with younger dudes and wondered if he had been older would I have even thought to blaze in the car. Nevertheless, I knew I would never fuck him again and began erasing the memory of it all as I got out the car and walked into my building, totally forgetting that my favorite bra was stuck somewhere in the back seat but realizing that after all of that I didn't even get to get my nut off.

0_o

Ironically being the day after "LeBron Day," I felt this pic was most befitting.



© 2010 Farrah Barnes

F*cking Into love

***Every so often I like to showcase the work of some of my fellow writers. Introducing one of my cohorts...Ally Anderson. Make her feel at home guys and gals. And please feel free to leave comments everywhere. =)***


I’ll be married for two years in two months, so I decided to surf the net to find a special place for my husband and I to celebrate our anniversary. I was so engrossed in my search that I didn’t notice someone standing near me. A business card floated past my computer screen and landed on my keyboard. Confused, I lifted my head and saw the back of a man as the door closed behind him. I picked up the card and read loud enough for my ears only, "Michael Ansare, Accountant." I was still unsure as to why he would leave his card with me until I turned it over and read the note on the back. "I'd love to take you out. You’re beautiful." Quickly recovering, I dropped the card in my cash drawer and looked around to see if anyone noticed my nervousness.

Seemingly out of nowhere, my co-worker appeared "He’s a friend of mine. He’s been asking about you for months now, I told him you were married but he doesn’t seem to care. He’s married too." I faked annoyance and said, "Well, that’s rude. He knows I’m married, but still tries to pursue me? And he’s married, too? No way!" Embarrassed, my co-worker turned and walked away.

About a week later, after seeing him two more times and playing the devoted wife, I broke down and called him. I was curious about what this man wanted from me.

Two days later, I found out as I was bent over the seat of his truck being licked from behind. My dress was pushed up around my waist and my ripped thong was somewhere on the dashboard. We were headed home from dinner when he pulled into the parking lot of a dark, secluded park. I was nervous, but our conversation over dinner had me wet. He told me to climb into the backseat and while I was in motion, he hiked up my dress, squeezed my ass and ripped my thong off, all in one smooth motion. The next thing I knew, he spread my ass cheeks and his tongue made figure eights from my chocolate star all the way to my pearl. Waves of pleasure washed over me and when I couldn’t take it anymore, I forced my way back to the front passenger seat and straddled him. I wasted no time grabbing his engorged tool and directing it toward my opening. He let out a string of profanities and ended it by telling me how tight I was. He held my hips and raised me up slightly, only to slam me back down on him. I was a tsunami at this point, dripping wet. I needed to regain control of this situation, so I removed his hands from my hips and held them above his head while I used my hips to lift and lower myself onto him. Someone was screaming, almost howling. When I opened my eyes, I realized that someone was me and I was on the brink of exploding into a million pieces. I tried to slow my pace, tried to calm myself...but the tool was just too damned good.

He freed his hands and massaged my love button, breaking my concentration. This man was reading my body too easily. He knew I was losing control, and he did everything in his power to make sure it stayed lost. I fought it, but I loved it. Heat ripped through my body, starting at my toes and it didn’t stop until I felt like steam was coming from my ears. As my deaths released me, I could feel him swelling inside of me. He grabbed my hair and pulled my mouth down onto his as climax shook his body and he pumped up into me with such force, that another orgasm shook me to my very core. Our mouths still touched as he whispered, "I knew you were what I was looking for."

Tears streamed down my face as I straightened my clothes and said, "Perhaps, but this can never happen again. I have to get home."

Chicken & Boobs

Honestly, I can say I am a wee bit backed up, hence my absence. My own writing makes me horny and me being horny with no one there to give me a fix has been driving me insane. It’s been a while and the slightest touch from someone right about now drives me off my rocker. It’s not like I can’t get any but I’m tired of the same ol’ same ol’. No one seems to have any substance anymore. My last dude was attractive as all outside but all he wanted was was to have sex and I’m not with it. I’m sure he has dozens of women who are down for it but I’ll be that one that’s different. I have pride and know I’m worth something.

However, in all of my horniness, Photographer/Director Kareem Black, sends me this vid that he shot and edited of a chick named Gizel. Some of you may know of her, some of you may not, but I will say this: I will never look at chicken wings and boobs the same way in my life. When you watch the vid, you’ll see what I mean. I found myself laughing for two minutes and super horny for that same minute and a half. I’m not into the whole girl on girl thing and her super sized boobs are so ridiculous that I couldn’t help BUT to look – but there was something about the way she licked her lips and licked that sauce off and sucked on those chicken wings that turned me the hell on. My box began to tingle and I crossed my legs to try and ignore the fact that it was becoming slippery...I also tried to push the fact that she makes sauce look really good on your mouth...ha. Forgive me...I am going to shower now.

Ok I will let you see for yourself...did anyone else get...aroused? Ha.



**I tried to get the vid to fit but I suck with tech stuff. =(

Box Interlude pt. 2

“...I want you more than you’d ever know.”

She heard him, but she didn’t hear him. She couldn’t concentrate on anything other than him entering her. She didn’t want to think about the actual feelings that she had for him. Right now, all she wanted to do was feel this moment. She felt him place his head at her soaked center and closed her eyes as he rubbed it from the top of her clit to the bottom of her box, and back again. She raised her hips so he could enter, but he pulled back saying “Um mmm, not yet.” She opened her eyes incredulously, not understanding why this was the time where he wanted to play games. Her eyes shot daggers at him “Come inside” she said through clenched her teeth. He shook his head no and looked into her eyes. It felt as if he was looking inside her soul and she felt her face begin to get hot. She looked away as her body started to tremble with anticipation. As bad as she tried to control it, she couldn’t. She also knew that it wasn’t just her horniness. She knew that deep down inside, her heart wanted him. Her heart wanted him in full capacity, not just in a sexual capacity. She only saw him when they were fucking and she hated that but she was having a hard time stepping away from him. He brought his face down nose-to-nose while still positioned above her.

“Talk to me…what are your thoughts?” he whispered into her lips. He wanted her to tell him how she felt but he knew she was scared. 90% of the time he looked in her eyes she saw fear. He knew that she had some preconceived notion about him in her mind and he was positive she had it all wrong. He wasn’t the man whore she thought he was. He didn’t just chase women all the time, he was actually a loner and would prefer to just have ONE woman by his side.

She refused to have a conversation right now. She wrapped her legs around his waist and ran her fingertips over his chiseled abs and Pecs before wrapping her arms around him pulling him closer, angling her hips to where she was able to slide him right into her. It was then that she looked him square in his eyes and he looked right back. He lay still on top of her as she felt him continue to grow in between her walls. She squeezed her kegels around his girth and he breathed in sharply at the amazing feeling he got from her added pressure encircling him. This made him light-headed as he closed his eyes and slowly pulled back out to where his head was just at the exit of her walls and after pausing for a moment, he plunged back into her with an unconscious force that she cried out in a mix of pain and pleasure. He was completely in another zone. He wanted her to understand how he felt about her. He wanted her to understand what his body was trying to explain to her. He wasn’t just fucking her. He was loving her. He loved her. He was in love with her. He just didn’t know how to say those words. He lifted her legs up and spread them wide apart and continued to plunge into her, harder, deeper, and faster. He faintly heard her screams as he continued to stroke. He just wanted her to get it and this was the only way that she seemed to understand. He felt her return his thrusts by slamming her pelvis against him in mid-air. His eyes began to focus and as he looked at her he noticed the tears streaming down her cheeks. He slowed his stroke to a stop inside of her and whispered her name.

“Kayla...”

She looked away as she bit her lip to keep from crying out loud. Her chest was on fire and she felt like she couldn’t breathe but she was afraid of what would happen if she’d opened her mouth. She didn’t want to seem weak, but thanks to her tears she knew she’d probably already freaked him out. Her emotions were getting the best of her and she hated that. He took her chin in his hand and tilted it towards him and whispered her name again.

“Kayla…”

She closed her eyes and bit her lip to keep from speaking. He kissed her eyelids…and kissed away the tears that were rolling across her temples towards her ears. Her hands were still wrapped around him and he gently sucked her bottom lip from in between her teeth. He held it in between his and gently nibbled on it, baiting her to say something…anything. After a few moments he pulled back to look at her. She opened her mouth to speak and stuttered over his name.

“La…La…Lance…I…”

Her remained silent and waited for her to relax and speak. She took a deep breath and tried again in a low, quick, and almost inaudible voice.

“Lance, I’m in love with you. I’ve BEEN in love with you. I don’t know if this is the right thing to be telling you but I need to say it and I don’t want to be hurt and I don’t know exactly how it is that you feel about me but I think that you sort of like me and…”

He bust out laughing in her face and immediately covered his mouth with his hand, embarrassed. She froze beneath him.

He hurried on to say “Babe, I am NOT laughing at you, but since I know you are not going to say anything else now, I can explain! I laughed because you said SORT OF like you. I mean, I like you as a person and all, but I love you, woman. I’ve BEEN in love with you but the constant fear in your eyes makes me nervous. I know you don’t trust me and have all of these thoughts about me that I am almost positive that are not true but I was too nervous to say anything because I didn’t want to get shot down.”

He felt her not only relax beneath him, but start trembling as well. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face into her neck. She gazed at the ceiling and tried to control her breathing, she felt a panic attack coming on and was trying to combat it. She knew she’d heard every word he’d said but wondered if she really heard what he was saying. As she managed to breathe through her attack she suddenly burst out laughing. Deep, throaty laughs that caused Lance to immediately sit upright and stare at her. He looked at her beautiful face as she tried to control the laughter escaping her lips but couldn’t. Seeing her face lit up made him smile and seconds later had him rolling too. They laughed and laughed until she realized she was crying and that only made her laugh harder. He took his face in her hands and wiped her tears away and their laughs began to grow softer and softer until they ended up in silence sitting there on the bed.

To be continued…



© 2010 Farrah Barnes

Happy 101 Award among other things...

Yes yes, I know, I've been missing in action. I've been busy - a GOOD busy. I also had some writer's block. I'd sit down ready to write and I'd end up having staring wars with my laptop. It happens.

So I was given the Happy 101 Blog Award which was dope considering it's my first blog award ever. =) This award is given to bloggers by bloggers who think that your "blog is awesome and well-written."



If they like it I love it!

It was given to me by KP over at Caribbean Ramblings. These are the types of things that keep me humble because she's a phenomenal writer and has been doing so since she was 4 years old.

So thank you KP, I appreciate you.

It's definitely good to see and hear that readers were looking forward to the next installment in the Chronicles. Well I am here and my mind is juiced up.

I may have some good writing news by the weeks end. I will keep you posted.

Ciao for now guys & gals.

Mr. No Thank You, Never Again

He was relatively short but he was funny as hell and humor will get me just as good as looks will. He was 5'7" with a toasted almond complexion, box eating lips, and weighed about 150 pounds. A lightweight in my book but it was ok. We met at a party and he was a friend of a friend. He was a slick talker and for those of you that have been with me since the start, you know what that does for me. Ladies, we all know whether or not we are going to sleep with a guy within the first moments of meeting them. I decided that I wasn't. He was a supercool dude but not necessarily my type. He kissed me after the party that night. Ehhh. I am taller than him so the whole me feeling like I had to tilt my head downwards wasn't going to work for me. On top of that, I guess he had wanted to steal a kiss and ended up banging his teeth with mine and making me cut my damned lip.

*blink*

I gave him the benefit of the doubt and figured he was nervous.

We did exchange numbers though and chatted almost everyday. I guess this is why I began to feel a way towards him. I liked speaking to him, I liked that he made me laugh until I wiped tears from my face but I was still on the fence about sleeping with him.

One particular Wednesday had been a trying day thanks to the MTA. I'd had some company over to cool out and after an hour of playing hostess, it was imperative that I took a nap immediately. I'd excused myself leaving my homegirl in charge and went into my bedroom and closed the door.

I sat on the edge of my pillow-topped queen sized bed and slowly exhaled. My problem was that I didn't know when to just take a break to just relax and try not to think about ANYthing. I slipped out of my Levi's and v-necked tee into a pair of boyshorts and a silk cami. It felt unbelievably amazing slipping into bed under my sheets. Drifting into a Reisling induced slumber, I heard my door but figured it was my homegirl so I paid her no mind. By the time the other side of my bed had become occupied I had drifted back in my sleep. I felt a hand slide up my thigh and up to my right butt cheek. the hand started to massage my cheek before sliding up the side of my waist and cupping my right breast. I leaned back slightly to see 1. who was caressing me and 2. so they can give my left boob some love too. It was him.

So much for me not fucking him as I had already begin to drip.

I was amazed at the fact that he had elephant balls to be feeling me up in our setting with company there and all. Through my haze, part of me KNEW this was NOT the time and part of me knew I was horny and just wanted to fuck at this point.

He brought his mouth down on the nipple of my left boob and sucked. Amazingly, this did nothing for me. I found myself just wanting the dick. He used his left hand to pull down my boyshorts and my thong to my ankles and I kicked them off under the sheets. He hoisted himself up over me and i felt his eyes on me in the darkness. He came down to my mouth and kissed me.

I softly pursed my lips to kiss him full on his but it didn't work that way. It was almost as if he was channeling a blowfish and he was trying to kiss me through a pane of glass. I tried to catch his bottom lip. No go. He was still puffing those lips out and after another 14 seconds of me playing catch a kiss, I just turned away and let him suck on my neck.

This was not working.

He took his left hand and eased it down into the Promise Land and tried to slide 2 fingers inside.

No go.

My body twitched in reaction to his nails scratching the inside of my lips.

Why did he have talons for fingernails??

What was the problem???

I turned my hips away from him and moaned. I think he mistook this moan to be one of pleasure when it fact it was one of WHY ME?

I was turned off.

I sat up slightly and he tried to guide my head towards his dick.

*Stare*

I'm not sure what he thought this was but me blowing him was COMPLETELY and UTTERLY out of the question.

"You not gonna do nothing?"

"What? No, I'm not."

He grabbed my hand and brought it to his dick and I grabbed it. Soft, it was the size of my palm.

*sigh*

Here we go.

I started to stroke it while he returned to my neck to do a bit of sucking and licking. I was sitting there in the dark bored to death when I started to feel him grow. I was still not amused. I wanted him to shave off the shagged wig that was at the top of his dick and wondered why he thought that not shaving that shit off was in fact, ok.

He'd taken a condom out of his pocket and put in it my hand.

I put it right back in his.

"Come on yo! I have people in the next room! If you want this put some pep in your step!!!"

He slid the condom on and used his right knee to spread mine. As he tried to enter I felt the weight of his seemingly 5 t-shirts on my chest. This was a nightmare.

As he slid inside, my thoughts began to wander. I wondered if I would be this weeks Mega Millions jackpot winner and began to think about What color I'd get my Aston Martin Vanquish in. I was thinking black with a toasted almond interior. Yep, that would work.

He was trying to kiss me but I pushed his chest away from me and raised my hips off the bed thrusting as much weight as I could at him so that his face could stay at a reasonable distance away from mine.

He reached behind me with both hands to spread my cheeks while he thrusted into me with so much energy that I swore I was his first piece of ass or he hasn't had sex in over a year. I didn't feel like talking or teaching. I started to squeeze my kegels on his dick everytime he stroked in. I wanted this to be over as soon as possible.

i just wasn't feeling it.

At. All.

He came after about 8 minutes and 13 seconds saying: U made me cum.

*blank stare through the dark*

I certainly didn't expect the next few words to come out of his mouth.

"We need another one. Where are your condoms?"

*blinkblink*

I got up to go to the bathroom and told him to get dressed.

*sigh*

CUT THE SHAG.

© 2010 Farrah Barnes

For those of you who may not know what a shag is see the pic.