Mr. Can't Get It Up

"The flaccid penis doesn’t convey power or eroticism. It looks like a finger puppet." (source)


He was a southern boy who looked just like Raheim from the movie Juice. His drawl was thick as honey and as sweet as could be. It turned me on. I met him doing production on a tv show that I was working on. He had an extremely sarcastic mouth which as you know, made me want to fuck him silent. I could tell he was a bit intimdated by me because he'd only been in New York for two years and hadn't really come across a bad ass New Yorker chick like myself. I didn't want to fuck this dude and have him be wack as hell in bed and have to look at him everyday for the duration of the project we were working on so, I opted to wait until it was completed to have him. After two and a half months I wanted to see if he was all talk and no action. I invited him over and he didn't hesitate.

I got a kick out of throwing Juice on when he arrived. I offered to make him a drink. He took his vodka neat. We watched it and fooled around with each other. I had dreamt of kissing this dudes plump lips. Dreamt of them coming face to face with my box. Dreamt of them driving me absolutely insane with desire for him.

He finally kissed me.

*gag*

He didn't open his mouth. It wasn't sensual. I felt like I was kissing a wall. How the FUCK do you kiss with your mouth closed? Where they do that at? He just kept mashing his closed ass lips on mine and I felt the skin on the inside of my mouth by my molars begin to break because THAT'S how hard he was going in!

Fail.

I reached down to feel on the goods. He was um...how would you say....

FLACCID.

I gently stroked on his shaft.

Now call it what you want but I usually don't have to do much when a dude is ready to dig me out. I don't have to worry about him NOT being hard or anything like that. It's usually up and ready to go. THIS time however, was not the case.

I went from gentle to damn near pulling that bad boy off.

"WELL DAMN!!!"

I sheepishly apologized.

I walked over to my nightstand and opened the Box drawer. I have all kinds of shit in there. Don't ask. I DO have all kinds of condoms, different sizes too. My thing was I just could not gauge what size his cock was because the shit was in hibernation mode. I decided to go with a LifeStyle. I tossed it on the bed near him. I hoped that this night would get better from this moment on. I stepped out of my running shorts and took my t-shirt off. My skin was still extra soft and shiny from that good good Almond flavored oil I'd slathered on when finishing up my shower. I caught a reflexion of myself in my mirror opposite my bed. Slim, athlethic frame with horse legs that strutted so. 34B boobs that are so perky that I shouldn't even OWN a bra. An ass that was high and round. I even want to take a bite out of it myself. Skin that looks like honey with the sprinkling of tattoos here and there. They are part of my character...they add to my sex appeal. Hey, when you got it you got it.

In the time I was looking at my reflection I'd noticed that he was having some sort of issues with the condom placement.

He was still soft.

WTF.

You have this sexy beast in front of you naked and you're still soft? Something was definitely wrong with this picture. I amused myself and ask if the condom was too big.

"Nawww but you should do something about this..."

I walked over to him and picked his limp dick up with my index finger and let it drop. A complete and utter waste of my time and energy.

So let me get this right. He couldn't get up but yet he wanted me to suck his dick for assistance. Nawww homeslice, that's not how it works in THIS fortress. I told him not to worry about it and that we could try again another time. I was COMPLETELY turned off. He was red in the face and I think that he knew I wouldn't call him.

EVER. AGAIN.

In his embarrassment, he got dressed and I could not help but to shake my head at him...all the way to the door.

I never heard from him again.