Cloudy Vision

This is a short break from my regularly scheduled fuck posts.

I think I am a sex addict but not really. They say men think about sex every 7 seconds (bing or google it) and I think I’m in that group. I think about sex a lot. Not necessarily with certain people but just the act itself. I swear I am the horniest person I know and it’s bad because I notice that it’s starting to fuck with my focus. There are a bunch of things that I also need to have a LOT of my attention on, like real life shit and me thinking about cock always seems to get in the way of it. The past two weeks I’ve been feigned out of my fucking mind. I feel like I can’t seem to get any and I can’t understand why.

I’m lying.

I know why.

It’s because I’m picky. Even though we (men & women) can go through our iPhones or Berries and scroll to the dick or box on call, sometimes we just want a certain person. Maybe we just want that one who does it ALL right. They kiss you right, make you feel like you aren’t even here on Earth, fuck and suck you right, take their time with you, get crazy buckwild with you, love you down right, massage you right, spoon you right and even hold you right. Maybe we all have one of those. I know I do. I’ll never tell him that though because I know I can’t. It would go against the rules. If you know that you two only see each other when you fuck then you can’t catch any kinda feelings. Even though we know that sometimes it’s hard as hell to deny them. Especially when you know for a fact that you aren’t the only one he’s fucking. Or is that just me? Because I actually do like him. UGH. What fuckery.

Enter the thoughts of TD&B. Tongue, Dick, & Balls.

You have to look at them like that. In this case I do. This one is one of the best cases I’ve ever had. Yea, I’m going to start referring to them as cases. I probably won’t post about him because my feelings are weirdly caught up in him, but I digress.

I always equated sex with love. I always thought that that could be some of the best sex you could have. When IN LOVE. Reality was harsh to me and when I did think that, I got dumped, which has forced me to be kind of empty when dealing with the opposite sex now. What’s interesting is that I’ve ALWAYS been very sexual. Always liked to have and had a lot of sex. I felt like I needed it.

I craved it.

I crave it.

I feel like it’s the only place I can be in control and not have to really speak about anything because as soon as you open your mouth most times you’re judged anyway. So judge me on my performance. Judge me on how I ride your dick or judge me how I can deep throat your shit. Judge me on how I can be sensual and still be nasty. I’d much rather you judge me there because I’ve never had problems in those areas.

Sex is empowering to me.

I’m scared to death for a dude to start talking about feelings and shit. How they really like me and all this foolery. C’mon really? What’s it been two weeks? Everytime I brought in up in past relationships I got shitted on or shown the door so why even bother?

In these random posts you will probably think I am this truly emotionally fucked up individual or that I may have the dryest and most sarcastic sense of humor ever. Whatever you find...I will most definitely be...me.

Fact of the matter is…I feel like…

I Have To Have It.

I’ve been referred to as Nola Darling from the Spike Lee joint “She’s Gotta Have It.”

If that isn’t me, I don’t know who is.